Because I don’t know how else I I am going to make it through the next 16 – 26 hours until I get the results of this damned MRI. Seriously, doing these tests and then making you go home and wait days for the results is essentially torture.
When we got there this morning I had to read and sign a consent form and I wasn’t exactly sure why, but then I saw that they have to give you an IV catheter and put dye in to do contrast imaging. This upset me more than it should have because I was already stressed and anxious and I thought it was going to be a totally noninvasive procedure. Then when I was called back and we started walking down the hall, about halfway there the nurse? tech? guy who got me ready for the MRI noticed Julian (seriously, it took him awhile) and jumped and told us Julian couldn’t come back. Basically he said he had nowhere for Julian to wait (a lie – although there’s no formal waiting room, there was PLENTY of room in the “holding area”). So when Julian walked back down the hall OF COURSE I started crying. Ugghghg such a stupid emotional rollercoaster. Anyhow I got changed and he put in the catheter and discussed the procedure with me and then went and checked and even though my appointment was at 10am and it was by now at least 10:15, the person before me must have been a squirmer or something because they still had another 10 minutes to go. So the guy went and got Julian and we got to sit together until I went in. I don’t think I actually went in till 10:30 or 10:35.
You have to lie face down on a table. It’s got cushions on it and a massage-table-like face cradle, but it’s still not super comfortable. It also has two holes that you let “the girls” (another nurse/tech/lady’s phrasing, not mine – I’d probably call them tatas) dangle through. They give you earplugs and headphones, which you wear over the earplugs. They asked me what kind of Pandora I wanted to listen to and since I always create my own stations I had no idea. I asked if they could make me a station and they said yes, so I chose Morrissey. Anyhow, after you get up on the table with your earplugs in she kind of re-positions everything to make sure they’ll get good pics. Then she hands you a distress bulb with a caution not to use it unless absolutely necessary and puts the head phones on you and away you go!
I don’t know exactly how long I was in the tube. They told me it would be about 25 minutes but I can tell you I made it through almost nine songs and none of them were especially short. The leader of the pack was Sing Your Life by Morrissey which is tied for like my top three favorite Morrissey songs, so I took that as a good sign.
They told me when they were going to start the contrast dye. According to the consent form it can have side effects such as coolness in your arm, a metallic taste in your mouth, and nausea. I had none of these. Well, I felt a little heartburn-y but it might have been psychosomatic.
By the end of the MRI my face was going numb, I had an itchy nose, and I was starting to worry I might twitch and accidentally squeeze the emergency bulb. About then they told me I was done and had done a great job. The guy who had prepped me told me that the results would be viewed by a radiologist and that his findings would be sent to my doctor and she would call me. He said it would be today OR tomorrow, which I dearly wish he hadn’t said as I have had my eye on the phone all day. It’s now 5:00 however so my hopes for any answers today are dimming. Hence the drinking. Can I just start drinking now and drink until I get the results? Is that okay?
In other news my Mom told me the other day that she thinks I should get a second opinion because people keep telling HER I should get a second opinion. And on top of that I have read two articles about cancer being diagnosed and treated “too early,” but in the one article it literally states that the stage 0 cancer will EVENTUALLY become a tumor so I don’t really understand why taking it out when it’s small is treating it “too early?” Frankly I’d rather get it out BEFORE it grows large and invades my lymph nodes but hey that’s just me. And no I don’t want a second opinion because I like and trust the surgeon I have and his reputation is excellent and I JUST WANT TO BE DONE WITH THIS ALREADY. That said I think once the results are back and I meet with my “team” I will see how I feel. I mean I am not crazy about the idea of either radiation or Tamoxifen but I am also not crazy about the idea of having more breast cancer in the future.
So I think that’s it for now. Just on pins and needles waiting for some answers and the formulation of some sort of plan. Updates as updates occur!
Oh and THANK YOU to all my awesome friends and family – I reached my goal! That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t still donate though because EXCEEDING my goal would be even super awesomer. –> Kate’s Making Strides Page <–
Love and thanks.