Tomorrow is the big day – chemo session number one. I have been seeing my BC sisters struggling through chemo, being hospitalized, feeling defeated, vulnerable, and it has prepared me for the worst. Still, I keep hoping for the best – a friend told me his Dad had chemo and was never sick nor did he have any side effects. It happens to some people. Why not me? Keep sending me those warm, fuzzy vibes.
As a refresher, tomorrow I will be getting TC (taxotere/cytoxan) chemo for 3 1/2 hours, beginning at 8am (although I think the actual chemo part doesn’t start till 9ish – check in and blood tests first). I will be getting it through my portacath, which incidentally is still sore. I will also be getting Lupron, which shuts down my ovaries. Studies have shown this helps preserve fertility in pre-menopausal women. Additionally I believe this will also block estrogen from reaching any of those little ER+ cancer cells that might be hanging out anywhere. Down side: I’ll basically be menopausal, with all the awesome symptoms of that, for the duration of the chemo.
I talked to my doctor and we have opted to go cycle one with no Neulasta or daily shots. I am young and healthy, so he says he will check my WBC count before the next cycle. If numbers are good, we can avoid the side effects of those meds. If not, he says he will “have to encourage” me to get them.
Right now the biggest issue for us is everything is the unknown. Will I get sick? How sick? When? Will I lose my hair? All of it? Some of it? My eyebrows? Will I get fat? Lose weight? Be nauseated? Constipated? Have diarrhea? Anything is possible. Nothing is possible. Which makes it all rather impossible.