Radiation 9/35

Yesterday was my 9th radiation. On Friday afternoon, I will be one-third of the way through.

So far, no bad effects. I think the fatigue is starting a little, but nothing major. My skin looks normal (or “fantastic,” according to my radiation oncologist) except the scar in my armpit where they took out a lymph node is now red, as are some of the vitiligo spots in my armpit.

My hair is slowly but surely returning, but right now is platinum blonde so no one could even tell it’s coming in by looking at me. No period yet; don’t know if it will ever come back, but I sure hope so. Menopause sucks.

The worst thing about radiation so far is it’s a total time suck. Every morning I either have an activity with the kids or am taking Gregory to and picking him up from school, which is a 20-minute trip each way – so an hour and 20 minutes spent driving. Mid-day I have appointments or errands. And then at 3, I leave to go get irradiated. By the time I get home it’s after 4 and I have to start dinner for the kids. Then it’s family time until the kids go to bed at 7:30, kitchen cleaning time, and time for Julian and I to be together until bedtime around 10. This leaves me zero time to myself and zero time to clean house. Things are piling up around me and I feel absolutely bonkers. I am zipping this blog out in the 20 minutes before I take the kids to gymnastics. I am totally overwhelmed and feel depressed knowing it’s going to get worse before it gets better, but I don’t know what, if anything, I can do about it. We do have help with the kids but Gregory ALWAYS wants to be with me and when I don’t do things with them I feel terribly guilty and like I am being a bad mother.

So yeah, so far radiation has basically stolen time from me, and that has actually been rougher than you would think. But I am soldiering on – only another month to go.

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