I have seen a number of my friends post this article, and I don’t know if it’s because of my age or my height or my general temperament, but I don’t do the behavior the article references. I mean, some of these things I have done in the past – walking with my keys between my fingers, for instance, and in college, lying and saying I had a boyfriend when I did not – but even the latter I eventually stopped. When men would ask me to dance and I didn’t want to, I’d just say no. In one case, a man continued to ask why until I finally said, “Because I’m not attracted do you. I do not find you attractive.” At that point, he walked away.
Once, before I was married (the first time), I was walking down a park path in Monterey, CA. I was listening to my Walkman (yes! That long ago!) and a – I won’t even call him a man – a loser, a waste of space, came up behind me on a bicycle and grabbed my ass. It wasn’t just a cheek, though – it was basically a goose. He slipped his hand nearly between my legs and pulled what I guess you could now call a Donald Trump. He then biked very quickly off.
I was IRATE. To the point that I basically jogged after him, asking everyone I passed if they had seen him, and which way he went. I knew exactly what I would say, and do – and it was possible he’d be going to the hospital after I found him. Luckily for him (and maybe for my criminal record) I didn’t. It still makes me angry to think about. And it wasn’t the only time I have stood up for myself or another woman – in college I once got a guy thrown out of a club for running his hand up my thigh as he walked past me. I once helped pull two drunken jerks off a girl who whispered, “Help me,” to me at a bar. What the article says is true – this nonsense happens every single day. And maybe I don’t minimize, but I also shouldn’t have to be prepared for a fight any time I go out with a dress on.
This article saddens me because so many of my friends have posted and reposted it. I wish I could go after every guy that has made you feel this way. I’m so sorry. I am sad and angry and promise there will be no minimizing if you’re out with me. I will not be quiet. We will roar together.
Terrible, it’s as if certain men think women are simply objects and they can have there way with us, and we aren’t supposed to be offended. How dare we be offended!
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